Friday, October 10, 2008

Walking makes you think a bit

Got off work tonight and walked about 5 miles to the theater... Good thing it wasn't really cold.. Asked this girl if she wanted to go but she didn't text me back... Figures... But I don't really mind going alone... The walk here I thought of all these great things to blog about.. One got me real jazzed... The difference between dating an 19 year old girl or a 29 year old woman... ideas burst in my head as I compared the 2... But as I walked.. Truth set in.. And I'm just at a point where it's hard to be funny... It's hard to really be me.. I feel very unstable... Lost... Unwelcome... And out of the loop... My first thought is if I did this to myself... But I can't take the blame this time.. The world is very cold these days.. And I think my time is closing... I don't know how.. Or why.. But it just seems time to unplug.. Drop out... Let go... And see what happens... I feel like if nothing changes soon... I'll be homeless and crazy on the streets... Is it that kind of year or did I make too many wrong turns now I'm in a dead end street... The hard part is there is no one to blame and that includes me!

1 comment:

Sarah and Elgin said...

dude. come see us! our home is here for you. in fact, this christmas if you have no where to go, we need someone to house sit while we are in montana. i know new york is far from utah, but just so you know - we are here.
i hope you know sarvas, that i always thought a lot of you. you made me laugh, you have your own views (which was so refreshing) next to a closeminded community, you took care of the ones you cared about and you stepped up to the plate when you needed to.
if you feel comfortable, please feel free to reach out to elgin or i.
xx
sarah