Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Friendships come and go
It's interesting to know that somethings are more important than a support group... A friendship to me becames something like family, because I don't have a family... I have friends.. Then I have my best friends, my family... The ones that I let my guard down... Take away the walls and know that having them hurt me isn't that big of a deal because when they hurt it's to force growth and the support I get after word is to aid that growth... I rely on them... On that... I don't get mad at superficial bullshit... Don't hold grudges... Because I would rather have that support than to be alone... But this is where I am different... Some people don't have to feel that connected to people... Blood is thicker than water... I don't have that blood... I'm just water... It's hard to be told that you have to carry something when you've carried it for so long you just know it's time for it to be on it's own... That's how I feel now... I understand nothing will ever be 50/50 but to me 75/25 isn't worth that much work... I guess I'm a bad guy and no one will ever get me... But I will say this.... Someone told me that even though I don't have faith in a god.. I have to have faith in people... That is what makes community... But at this point.. If that person doesn't have faith in their selves.. Then it's hard for me to have faith in them... And if that person has no faith in me.. Then once again... I have no faith in them... This is a dilemma I have to face... But right now I would rather just be me.... It's a bullshit way out.. I don't know what else to do... Do I move on.. Or think that I'll get a sorry... I feel like I've been tossed aside... So I've tossed aside... People come and go... Life goes on regardless if I'm here or not... What is important in life and what is involved in that possess... Change happens if you like it or not... But nothing is anyones fault except my own.. And that goes for everyone else... I reap what I sow... And I'm not pointing the finger here... I'm just tired of talking to a brick wall... I feel like I'd get a better response from explaining things to the wind... I think the saddest thing about this too.. Is that the people that say are my true friends don't even read or care about this... So.. We'll see if it will turn to just an other passing face.. Like I said... I'm just water... And that water can just be under a bridge...
Words by Ever Changing at 8:15 PM