I understand who I am

But a lot of people don't get it.. so it's hard for me to be comfortable with people that don't get it.... I will always be really comfortable everywhere I go.. I don't really have a comfort zone.. so being able to go anywhere and hang out with anyone confuses and perplexes people... let me tell you this.. comfort isn't anything.. it's not real... and if you can't be yourself anywhere you go.. then that is your problem.. not mine... so don't look at me like there is something wrong with me... it's you that is broken... and your insecurities are flooding you to the point that it effects me... that is sick... bottle up your poison and burn it.. because it makes the world sick...

Running for Dead Prez

I decided to run for Presedent... I don't turn 35 till a bit so the next time I can run isn't until 2016.. If the world doesn't end in 2012 then it is on... I've been traveling enough this year to almost hit every state in the union.. I just need to get on raising funds for my campiene, which I'm statring emediatly... I'm going to hype it so hard now that by 2016 everyone will know who i am and will want to vote for me... I am a real "Merican" I can definetly do the damn things.... it's on, who wants to be vice...

the first pic post in a while

well I finally got ahold of a computer.. sent a pic from my phone to my email.. and now I'm going to post it on here for yalls to enjoy.. her name is raider... and she was my best friend for the last couple days... I took vids of her and I and some other pics but they are on my cam and can't get them off just yet.. so till then this is all you get.. I'll just tell you this.. the situation I was in basicly made my month... and I'm very happy I took a chance... very happy

Walking makes you think a bit

Got off work tonight and walked about 5 miles to the theater... Good thing it wasn't really cold.. Asked this girl if she wanted to go but she didn't text me back... Figures... But I don't really mind going alone... The walk here I thought of all these great things to blog about.. One got me real jazzed... The difference between dating an 19 year old girl or a 29 year old woman... ideas burst in my head as I compared the 2... But as I walked.. Truth set in.. And I'm just at a point where it's hard to be funny... It's hard to really be me.. I feel very unstable... Lost... Unwelcome... And out of the loop... My first thought is if I did this to myself... But I can't take the blame this time.. The world is very cold these days.. And I think my time is closing... I don't know how.. Or why.. But it just seems time to unplug.. Drop out... Let go... And see what happens... I feel like if nothing changes soon... I'll be homeless and crazy on the streets... Is it that kind of year or did I make too many wrong turns now I'm in a dead end street... The hard part is there is no one to blame and that includes me!

for the fuck of it... for what it is worth

I seriously think no one reads this... seems this is where I can hide right now... but I have to say this.,.. when it rains it pours... I've never in my life felt that I am being able to see tons of amazing things and then the whole time told I can't have any of those things... I'm truly alone... truly have no niche, scene, home, family... and for the only time In my life I want all those things... I want to know... is it because I don't have them... or is it because I'm getting older... or is it the "don't know what you got till it's gone" syndrome... I feel hallow... and I'm doing my best to keep grounded... to keep focused... to move forward and to be the best I can be... and right now really... it is one of the hardest things I can do... and the funny thing is that I really don't want anyone to know these things... because I'm ashamed.. but.. fuck.. no one reads this.. no one cares... so I use this,.. to get it out.. and say something.. and then at the same time.. hope that someone will read it... and save me from the place I am right now... and I don't me in a physical scenes....